Wednesday, April 24, 2013

It has been 2 weeks to the day since my beautiful joy of my life peacefully passed away next to me in our bed. I still can not believe that this reality that i wake up to in shock every morning is real. And the fact that time is taking me further and further away from the last time i rubbed his belly, pet his head, kissed his little nose, held his soft paw in my hand, smelled his wonderful scent, or told him I love him. I miss my boy more than anything and i long for him so desperately. It is so quiet in the house and so lonesome without my booboo. He is everything to me. Every day I rush home from work to see him and have our snuggle sesh. Every weekend plan, every vacation taken, my motivation to keep going when I feel like giving up. He really is the best boy I could have asked for in life, didn't need much training, actually I didn't want to train his own will out of him as a pup so i just stuck to the basics, potty training, sit, stay, etc but he learned so much more just living life, he had a HUGE vocabulary of words he understood, I could just talk to him, i never needed to shout commands, in fact i never really needed to discipline him much because he is just so good natured and mellow. He won over everyone, even the dog haters couldn't resist KC. He is all love, all booboo love, he put others feeling and happiness before his own, tho i kept him a pretty happy boy. But for whatever I gave him, he gave me back ten fold. He gave me more than i think i deserve and now that he is gone i miss that love he would give to me so freely, i really miss it. I will NEVER know this kind of love, this real true unconditional love again in my life. I know that kinda sounds sad and defeating but that is not the way i mean it, i mean that what we share together is so special to us that i will never find that again. That is the love of me and KC that we made together and I will never let it go, i will remember and try to live in our love for the rest of my life, he is always in my heart forever, until we are together again. I am so thankful that over 15 years ago he found me in that shelter I visited trying to find him. I think he knows so much that I don't or didn't, he has always known.

I could write a novel about KC, his cute behaviors, our life together, losing him and how huge a part of my life he is and how many people love him. But i need to keep it short and sweet (my tears are streaming) and leave the good stuff for me to keep. I will probably share more here and there, i have the giant task of compiling 15 years of photos and videos into book and dvd format, much of which is film, actual film, KC pre-dates digital media. So I will likely find a million great photos and vids of my little baby that might make me feel good to share.

This cute pic is from October 2012

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